Are you a mom who is struggling to cope with a newborn along with an emotionally disturbed toddler? Trust me, you are not alone! Almost every parent who has two kids experience this. Taking care of the newborn and handling the dejected little heart of your first born will be certainly challenging. Let’s check out some tips to mend that tiny crushed soul and make him feel equally loved.
Your firstborn is always special. He is the one who first called you “mama” and made you sense the heavenly feeling of being a mother. You were showering your little one with undivided love, care and attention. But, once you welcome your second child things aren’t the same as before.
Your so far cheerful toddler will be showing up some kind of rude behavior which you may not comprehend. He will be irritated most of the times and often throw his aggressiveness. You can sense the signs of “terrible twos”.
This is the time when you should stay strong and handle the fragile moments. We know it is difficult as newborn care is keeping you busy. But, you need to balance this out!
Insecurity naturally builds up in children when your attention gets divided. They are not matured enough to express their longing to spend time with you and it is quite natural if they are throwing way too many tantrums. They are trying to seek your attention in every possible way. Let’s find out how you can help your kiddo and make him feel secure.
- Minimize the “Big Brother” Talks
Of course, your toddler is now a big brother / sister. But don’t impose much of responsibility on his shoulders, early on. He will not be able to handle it. So, try to minimize talks like “You are his big brother , you should adjust or you should not behave like a baby anymore or you should try to be independent without mommy’s support”, etc.
Try avoiding such conversation as his tiny heart cannot cope with so many changes all at once. He may even backfire, by fueling his anxiety. Remember he is still a baby. So, treat him as one.
- Schedule and Organize your Day
Pre-plan your day and set up a routine. Create a pattern for your newborn’s nap and feed timings. Babies tend to sleep more, so use the newborn’s nap times and have one-on-one sessions with your toddler child. Don’t compromise on the timings when your toddler will need you the most like his sleeping time, feeding time, etc.
Whenever you have to care for the baby, ensure that your toddler is engaged in some activity or busy playing with something. Subscription activity boxes are a good option to keep him engaged, without having you to worry about the selection of toys or books. You can check out Flintobox which provides some really intriguing themes for toddlers.
Try to push the household chores to a time when your partner is at home so that he can take care of the kids. Once your toddler is assured that you will be spending time with him at regular intervals, he will cooperate you willingly.
- Never Turn a Deaf Ear to Your Toddler
Make sure you pay attention to your toddler’s conversation even if you are busy with your new born. Retain a smile, look at him and maintain an eye contact at frequent intervals and communicate to him genuinely.
Focusing and connecting with your kiddo while still holding your baby can be tough. This is when baby wearing comes to your rescue. It will be a win-win for all three – you, your toddler and your newborn.
- Involve Your Toddler in Nurturing the Newborn
Though toddlers are upset about having to share their mom’s love, still they are fascinated about the newborn. They will happily jump in, if you involve them in simple chores like getting a diaper or change of clothes for the baby, gently applying baby lotion along with you or any other simple task under your supervision. And don’t get mad if he is not handling things well. Explain him in a soothing tone about the do’s and don’ts with the baby.
Encourage him to play or spend time with the baby like making funny faces and making the baby giggle, show her rattles and other baby toys etc. The more you involve him, the more he will start considering the baby as a part of him.
- Get Out of Home
Include evening walks or play dates in your daily routine. While the toddler will be engrossed in playing with his mates the new born will enjoy the outside world and you can relax with like minded moms or friends. This baby stroller from LuvLap will be a perfect baby gear to support your outings.
- Don’t Hide the Concept of Breastfeeding
Don’t make breastfeeding as a secret task and conceal it from your toddler. It will increase his curiosity and tantrums, thereby making things even more complex. He will assume that mommy is having a secret session with the baby and he is being ignored.
So, try to explain why you should breastfeed the baby in a way he will understand. But this may not go as smoothly as said. Be ready to face some awkward questions and suggestions. Once you have convinced him, try to deviate his attention. You can interact with him while nursing the baby like reading books or a little chit chat or by playing some word games.
These tips along with a bit of patience and assimilation will aid you to get your toddler overcome his insecure feeling. He will start bonding with the newborn and there you will have your Blended and Happy Family.